John Lennon - Jealous Guy

(Parlophone, 1981)

A reissue intended to cash in on Lennon’s death, this French 7” rather mysteriously pairs the saccharine “Jealous Guy” with the lightly funky Walls and Bridges obscurity “Going Down On Love.” Don’t get me wrong: I’ve got no beef with either song (and “Jealous Guy” as recorded in 1971 beats hell bigtime on the awful Beatles-era demo), it’s just an odd pairing for a money-grab “tribute” release. As far as the A-side, it’s possible the label chose this one – as opposed to a more famous track – in order to ride the commercial wave of Roxy Music’s then-hit cover version. Which would of course make everything surrounding this release doubly crass, but hey, at least we get a great picture sleeve out of the deal.

And you know what it’s doing in New York City right now? Blizzarding.

The Beatles - Magical Mystery Tour EP

(Parlophone, 1967)

“Magical Mystery Tour” was released in the UK as a double-7” EP soundtrack to the Beatles’ ill-advised adventure in filmmaking (hence the reappearance of “I am the Walrus”). The five new songs stack up favorably next to the rest of the band’s impressive and inventive 1967 output, and, as a whole, this loose, out-there package tops Sgt. Pepper as a work of smart, expansive psychedelia. Quite a capper on twelve months of vinyl activity that included the “Penny Lane,” “All You Need is Love,” and “Hello Goodbye” singles as well as the Pepper LP. Yow! I’m lazy, so let’s just go through this one track by track for maximum dullness and minimum readability. But before we do that, hey, guess what? The EP doesn’t have the same running order as the LP/CD!! Oh, I’m sorry… was your mind just blown?

It’s a big, brassy opening with the driving (HA! It has bus sound effects!) title track; a better use of horns on a Beatle song I cannot call to mind. Punchy drums, too! There exists a hilarious outtake with a spoken interlude that is well worth locating posthaste – “When a man buys a ticket for a magical mystery tour, he knows what to expect… And we guarantee him THE TRIP OF A LIFETIME. And that’s just what he gets… The INCREDIBLE… MAGICAL… MYSTERY TOUR!!!” Haw. “Your Mother Should Know” takes us back into winking, old-timey “When I’m Sixty-Four” territory, but is a touch sprightlier and sassier than its Pepper McCousin. Next to the plate is our friend “I am the Walrus,” which both ups the overall freakiness and gives the otherwise under-represented Lennon a chance to have his say on this release.

END OF RECORD ONE. INTERMISSION. START OF RECORD TWO (a little Help! humor for you there, everyone!).

I can never make up my mind about “The Fool on the Hill.” Is it a quirky, mellow-time character study that interestingly presages “Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey” in its “fast” sections? Or just a tedious drag that never quite gets off the ground? Today, I happen to think it’s the former, but why don’t YOU TELL ME?? “Flying”? Unstoppable! Bass- and Mellotron-heavy mood-piece – and rare full-group composition – that shows the Beatles of ’67 could indeed get its psych across without layering truckloads of overdubs and aural weirdness atop itself. Short, sweet, ’n’ plenty effective! George’s creepy-crawly “Blue Jay Way” ends the set on an unsettling note. The “back to basics” movement would take hold after this (“Lady Madonna” was the group’s next release), so it’s rather fitting that the band’s full-on psychedelic phase should unwittingly close out with such a nightmarish, squirming bit of paranoia, a dark, underbelly-of-the-Summer-of-Love lead-in to a period of gettin’ back to where they once belonged (ugh, sorry; had to say that, I guess).

Lazy though it is, I sincerely hope everyone appreciates this entry, because I went through some distressing times to get my hands on this, a mono first pressing ($$!!) of “MMT”: A desperate and deranged booze-hound with whom I spoke at a bar one night insisted on selling it to me for twenty bucks when he learned I was a fan of the Beatles. Knowing this was a hugely unfair deal, I tried to decline, but he wasn’t hearing it. We walked to his place, and I sweated uncomfortably as we made the transaction in his dank rat’s nest, surrounded by disturbing, wall-sized collages and, yes, voodoo dolls.

A few months later, I watched him pick up a girl hours after he’d had serious oral surgery; his mouth was bleeding and, by his own admission, his breath smelled of vomit.

I miss that guy.

The Beatles - Penny Lane / Strawberry Fields Forever

(Parlophone, 1967)

Imagine my surprise when, tonight, the Mayor of the Internet showed up at my doorstep to present me with a CERTIFICATE OF ACHIEVEMENT for receiving 1,000 hits on this very site! Apparently, this is the first time in the history of “the web” that this previously unimaginable plateau has ever been reached! So, in light of this incredible honor, I’d like to take a moment to thank all of you for making this The Most Popular Site In The History Of The Internet; and I’d especially like to thank the mystery visitor from Cambridge, Massachusetts, who pushed me over the top at 11:53pm Eastern. You are the real hero here, nameless Comcast subscriber. And – let’s be honest – the real winner, too, because during your visit, like 999 others before, you got to read gut-twistingly insightful and incisive commentary by me, a thoughtful, chin-stroking, pretend-recognized 7” reviewer. I take my lofty perch very seriously, and I want to assure everyone that I’ll never let you down. I’ll review every 7” from A to Z, and then back again. But even that won’t be good enough. No, I’ll never rest until I’ve reviewed TEN MILLION 7”s! Just watch me! Only 9,999,947 left, but the slow and steady bird gets the worm, right? And so we move on…

…To this grrrrrrrrrr-reat single by the Beatles!! It’s the first of the famous “Moustache Trilogy” (copyright: me), which also includes “All You Need Is Love” and “Hello Goodbye.” But forget those other two for now, because “Penny Lane” / “Strawberry Fields Forever” stands as the biggest, boldest pole-vault upwards ’n’ onwards that I have ever heard single-to-single from any band. These songs aren’t semi-regressive or self-consciously whimsical like the “Eleanor Rigby” / “Yellow Submarine” pairing, these pre-Pepper shockers are a coupla cannonballs into absolute paisley newness. Paul’s “Penny Lane” certainly feels more mannered and stiff than the endlessly-fiddled-with bizarreness of “Strawberry Fields,” but it’s still impressive in its wide-eyed ability to lift its subjects’ mundanity into the realm of the acid-fucked sublime. And has there ever been another band that was able reach into its bag o’ tricky tricks to plunk more instruments front-n-center on a one-off basis than the Beatles? NO! This time it’s a goshdang TRUMPET stealing the show!!

On the other side, more mind-blow: “Strawberry Fields”?? Holy CROW! Never mind the sumptuous mellotron, backwards cymbals (always a fine touch; it’s what MADE Jimi Hendrix’s one good song) and crazy-flute/tom-heavy fake ending: the lyrics are what truly win the day here. “That is, you can’t, you know, tune in, but it’s all right… That is, I think it’s not too bad,” takes John’s raging insecurity into the LSD era, but he really tops himself with this one, which might be the best lyric in any major pop hit, ever: “I think… Er, no… I mean… Er, yes… But it’s all wrong. That is, I think I disagree.” KAPOW, yeah? One more big thumbs-up is owed to the “misunderstanding all you see” bit, which has pleasantly baffled me since kiddiehood. Does he mean that misunderstanding IS all you see? Or that you misunderstand all you see? Dunno! That’s why it’s a good line! A good line on a freakishly high-quality single! Honestly, I could punctuate ’til the end of the night when it comes to this one. IT IS THAT FINE.

Oh, here are some more caps: AND FOR CRIMINY’S SAKE, THANK GOODNESS THERE’S FINALLY A DIFFERENT GRAPHIC LAYOUT ON A BEATLES SLEEVE. (Psst, historical note: Parlophone in the UK reissued all of the band’s 45s in the early ’80s, and that’s the “Penny Lane” I happen to own. Head-scratchingly, those art-hating Brits saw to it that this and “Let It Be” were the only two singles to have been released with picture sleeves in England during the group’s lifetime; the reissues retain that artwork while the others all add newly-created sleeves.)