Neil Hamburger - Pays Tribute to Diana, Princess Of Wales

(Planet Pimp, 1997)

Rough day for ME. I was traveling out of Boston on one of those cheap Chinese buses late last night, and it broke down – possibly burning – in the eternal hell-state that is Connecticut. A replacement bus arrived several hours later, and I reached New York well after 5:00am, which pretty much made Monday a wash, as I spent most of it in bed. Still, I reckon that shitride was a whole lot better than the ride Princess Diana took on August 31, 1997, because at least I didn’t get ENDED on those dark ’n’ speedy roads. But if I had, would Neil Hamburger pay tribute to me, as he did to Di on this moving 7”? Maybe! After all, I do own one of the greatest collectibles of all time: a Frank Sinatra Trilogy LP signed by Neil himself… and if THAT doesn’t launch me into the commemorative-single star-o-sphere , I dunno WHAT does.

But enough about me. FOR NOW.

This one starts off with some mock-respectful Diana-centric jokes (“Did you hear the one about the paparazzi with a heart of gold? Yeah, he stole it from Princess Diana as she lay dying.”) that become less and less directly relevant as the set proceeds, finally degenerating into a tasteless reprise of the “Zipper Lips” routine. The whole thing’s a batch of solid and clever setup/punchline jokes that strikes a successfully awkward balance between natural-feeling and Hamburger-style shoehorning in order to hew to the overall theme. The “solemn” B-side – which, according to the sleeve, should be played “at least once a day” — is an extended “moment of silence” that doubles as a tribute to Sonny Bono when played at 78RPM. Feel free to use the enclosed tissue when listening to this side; there will be no other way to stop them dead-celeb-inspired tears from fallin’.