Heavenly Ten Stems - China Town

(Amarillo, 1994)

Since so many of the higher-profile groups affiliated with Amarillo released ugly music (usually with a confrontational comedy element propelling it), it’s easy to miss the fact that there were a lot of incredible musicians in the label’s orbit. The Heavenly Ten Stems, who put out just this single and a track on the Gan’t Boar Like an Eabla… sampler, was an ambitious group dedicated to performing Asian soundtrack music, an effort that might seem like a joke given that the members were weirdo-noise-artsters (Caroliner, Thinking Fellers Union Local 282, Zip Code Revue, etc.), but the end result is a fun, faithful – loving even – recreation of the source material. You’ve got trombone, violin, banjo, Cantonese (?) lyrics, and incredibly solid playing all around on these non-simple arrangements, which is especially impressive given that both songs are from a live performance. I like the Chinese hoedown feel of “China Town,” with its clip-cloppy percussion and sighing chorus, but I prefer the driving, surf-influenced “Jan Pehechan Ho,” which has the rockin’-est trombone I’ve ever heard, not to mention some dual vocals that are spat forth with nifty aggression. And, again: these songs are being played live. Amazing! Unfortunately, the Heavenly Ten Stems didn’t stick around too long, thanks to some phony-baloney controversy that was seemingly generated by a gaggle of San Franciscans – including Kathleen Hanna – with too much time on their hands. Intrigued? Good! Well, band-member Brandan Kearney tells that bizarre tale in his interview with Mark Prindle, and it’s quite an interesting read. SO GO READ IT.

Caroliner - Bead Trail To Jardunne

(Nuf Sed, 1993)

Look, a Caroliner single! Let’s review it, shall we? You can give me feedback when I’m done! But for now, onto the songs! The goofy “Bead Trail to Jardunne” is acid-fried, wobbly hobo music that keeps petering out into grunting or tape effects, only to kick back into those same two measures of halting, lunatic banjo pickin’, again and again. And again. IS THIS WHAT MADNESS SOUNDS LIKE? Or maybe it’s just what a coupla demented yet lovable codgers on a back porch in Appalachia sound like (as played by young San Franciscan art freaks in the early 1990s). Flip it to the B-side for “The Cooking Stove Beast,” which chugs along to the vocalist screeching/growling over squishy electronics and ugly, out-of-tune guitar, the music occasionally slipping into a fast breakdown section before resuming its mutants-on-parade semi-stomp. Not bad, in its own wacky way. Y’know, if the Thinking Fellers were drunk and wanted to make an especially assaultive record, it might turn out a whole lot like this 45. No lie!

OK, haw haw, that’s a colorful and interesting description, you say. The reviewer has taken a different band, one that the reader is aware of, and then cleverly twisted that comparison around a little bit to give the reader some idea of what this band is doing, you add. And what about Caroliner’s other discs? you then ask. Is this 7” representative? Well (and this is finally me talking, not you), I don’t know, I’m afraid, for this is the lone musical baby I have adopted from the crazy womb of this particular group. Do realize that Caroliner has released many an LP in its day, though; why not ask Mark Prindle about that?