Job's Daughters - The Prophecy Of Daniel And John The Divine

(Nuf Sed, 1991)

Look, I’m on the record as adoring “The Prophecy of Daniel and John the Divine” as sung by the Cowsills; it’s fantastic, weird, and catchy. Still, blasphemous though it may be to say, Job’s Daughters (built this time around a core of Mark Davies, Brandan Kearney, and Neil Foot) actually IMPROVE here upon the whacked-out glory of the Cowsills’ version, remaining faithful to the creepy apocalyptic candy-psych pop groove of the original while adding a stronger vocal performance and a meatier instrumental backing. Yes, it loses the sick novelty of having a group of kids singing “six-six-six” over and over, but it has a non-haw-haw power perhaps lacking in the earlier recording, sending it rocketing outta any sort of Dr. Demento gag-bin and straight into the upper stratosphere of Total Greatness. So let me come out and say it: That awe-inspiring greatness is, to be honest, pretty much why I’ve waited a week to write about this one. It’s been hard to get myself to sit down and do a review simply because I feel I owe the disc maximum enthusiasm, ACTUAL EFFORT, not just the standard slap-dash rush-job at 2am before I hit the sack. BECAUSE – ready for this? – THIS IS THE BEST 7” I OWN, HANDS DOWN. Really! I ain’t kidding. I love this thing. LOVE IT. There is no other single in my collection that I can listen to as often and as happily as this one, no other single that I’m more excited about playing for friends than this one, no other single that I TREASURE more than this one. This is IT. Whatever you need to do to find a copy, please DO IT. Trust me. KILL if you must.

(But buy or steal, preferably.)

Job's Daughters - Cannibal

(Nuf Sed, 1993)

I’ll admit it. I’LL FINALLY ADMIT IT. Job’s Daughters are, for my money, the greatest of the Nuf Sed bands. Yup! Like the more conceptually-focused Heavenly Ten Stems (almost all of whom appear on this record in some capacity), there’s an incredible devotion to musical/instrumental whiz-kiddery, versatility, and no-genre-left-unexamined obscurity-mining. The A-side is an Ennio Morricone cover – from the soundtrack to the rare-butt film I Cannibali – and its lyrics, which proudly extol the total freedom enjoyed by the song’s cannibalistic hero, are delivered with the necessary hamminess by a fella named Livingstone Semakula (who actually has a vocal delivery similar to that of label-buddy Gregg Turkington). It’s tough to express just how bizarre and hilarious those sing-words are, but please understand that lines such as these are bellowed over the sort of big-band, heavenly-choir pop production that one might hear on a Richard Harris or late-’60s Sinatra record: “I won’t die! / I WON’T DIE!! / Kill me if you can / I will happily fly away / I’ll just fly away / On my sky-blue horse / I’ll just fly away / Happy that my mind is freeeeeeeee.” Insane? Yes! Terrific? Yes again! Hear it and love it! You will! That’s what you’ll do!

According to bandman Brandan Kearney’s Eabla site, the Asian song on the B-side is called “Quiet Night Rain,” but I can’t turn up any further info about its origins. Whatever the thing’s obscuro provenance, it’s a dramatic pop ballad that’s both entertaining and well-played (not to mention well-sung, thanks to the multilingual Mark Davies of Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 superstardom), and it points the way to the similar work undertaken by the Heavenly Ten Stems in ’94. A fine and ambitious cover, yet it pales considerably next to the majesty of “Cannibal,” as, to be fair, do most songs that we have heard and will hear in these lifetimes of ours. So that ain’t no knock. BUT! HOLD THE PHONE AND HOLD THAT THOUGHT BECAUSE ON THEIR PREVIOUS SINGLE JOB’S DAUGHTERS MIRACULOUSLY TOPPED THEIR FUTURE 1993-SELVES BY RELEASING THE GREATEST PIECE O’ MUSIC EVER TO KISS A MAMMAL’S EARS, YES, A RECORDING SPECTACULAR ENOUGH TO RENDER “CANNIBAL” FORGOTTEN. Can this BE? Am I a LIAR? Stay tuned, cliffhangerfans!

Heavenly Ten Stems - China Town

(Amarillo, 1994)

Since so many of the higher-profile groups affiliated with Amarillo released ugly music (usually with a confrontational comedy element propelling it), it’s easy to miss the fact that there were a lot of incredible musicians in the label’s orbit. The Heavenly Ten Stems, who put out just this single and a track on the Gan’t Boar Like an Eabla… sampler, was an ambitious group dedicated to performing Asian soundtrack music, an effort that might seem like a joke given that the members were weirdo-noise-artsters (Caroliner, Thinking Fellers Union Local 282, Zip Code Revue, etc.), but the end result is a fun, faithful – loving even – recreation of the source material. You’ve got trombone, violin, banjo, Cantonese (?) lyrics, and incredibly solid playing all around on these non-simple arrangements, which is especially impressive given that both songs are from a live performance. I like the Chinese hoedown feel of “China Town,” with its clip-cloppy percussion and sighing chorus, but I prefer the driving, surf-influenced “Jan Pehechan Ho,” which has the rockin’-est trombone I’ve ever heard, not to mention some dual vocals that are spat forth with nifty aggression. And, again: these songs are being played live. Amazing! Unfortunately, the Heavenly Ten Stems didn’t stick around too long, thanks to some phony-baloney controversy that was seemingly generated by a gaggle of San Franciscans – including Kathleen Hanna – with too much time on their hands. Intrigued? Good! Well, band-member Brandan Kearney tells that bizarre tale in his interview with Mark Prindle, and it’s quite an interesting read. SO GO READ IT.

Archipelago Brewing Co. - Criswell

(Nuf Sed, 1989)

Archipelago Brewing Co. is (was) a buncha weirdos from San Francisco – including some of the Thinking Fellers Union Local 282 guys, Brandan Kearney, and “FOUR GODDAMN GIRL DRUMMERS” – and this is their one and only single. So let me lay some straight-talk on you: it’s a bona-fide doozy! “Criswell” lurches along to the dinosaur-stomp of those lady percussionists, and the rhythm guitarists thrash away in a delightfully repetitive manner while the lead makes high-pitched little squiggles atop it all. A slower, heavier TFUL282 is a fair enough (and lazy enough) description. The guitars get noisier and the drummers get buried – this record’s sound quality isn’t so hot – on “Fresh Fish,” a grim tribute to the titular ocean-dweller, while “Wussies-R-Us” is a pretty, watery-sounding guitars-and-samples tune. When the full band is a-thunderin’, as on “Criswell” and “Fresh Fish,” the music coming outta the speakers is certainly loud, but you get the sense that this must’ve been absolutely BRUTAL when heard live. Like good brutal.

The Amazing Criswell, who appears on the sleeve, was into the fantastic, so I wonder what he’d have thought of this tidbit: I had been searching for this 7” for quite a while, and when I finally did locate a copy, it was in a store in which I was killing time while waiting for band associate Neil Hamburger to take the stage at a club next door. Weird.

Wait! Before wrapping up, let’s get back to A.B.C. guitarist, tape-manipulator, and vocalist Brandan Kearney, a man about whom you can learn all sortsa interesting facts in this great interview. It’s going to be a while before I reach the “J” reviews, so I want to slip in a mention of another of the (many, many) bands with which Kearney was involved, Job’s Daughters. Those folks released a cover of the Cowsills’ “Prophecy of Daniel and John the Divine,” and it is THE BEST SINGLE THAT I OWN. Really. If you have the ability to hear sound, please do your listening-thingies a favor and find that doggone record immediately. It’s out there; I own two!