Jesus & Mary Chain - Some Candy Talking

(Blanco Y Negro, 1986)

For the follow-up to Psychocandy, the Jesus & Mary Chain unleashed this “Just Like Honey”-style narco-ballad via the band’s typical truckload of configurations. The edition I own is the double 7” (as opposed to the 7”, 12”, or poster 12”), with the first disc a relentless, grinding downer that feels like a queasy post-LP hangover, and the second a four-song acoustic EP that shows off a gentler, cuddlier side of the group. Finesse was hardly the JAMC’s strong suit in the early days, so “Honey” is terribly clumsy in a hamfisted, chunka-chunka kind of way, but there’s a yearning, VU-LP3 earnestness that sells it, and the surprisingly lovely acoustic disc shows that the band WAS in fact able to drop the scowls and the hair product long enough to produce believably effective slowies. Shame, then, that half of the hush-slab (acoustic run-throughs of “Psychocandy” and “Some Candy Talking”) never made it to compact disc, even when the JAMC assembled its pseudo-comprehensive Negative Thinking rarities box.

Bad enough, that, but want worse? Here: that casual criticism of said box gives me the opportunity to put on my geek galoshes and wade deeper into the failings of the set. Ready? Now, say that you, like most People of Today, want to make sure you own every song the Jesus & Mary Chain ever released. Well. First you’ve gotta buy all six studio albums, then the three rarities compilations (Barbed Wire Kisses, Sound of Speed, and Hate Rock ’n’ Roll), then the two live records (The Complete BBC Sessions and Live in Concert), then the aforementioned Power of Negative Thinking package. That covers almost everything, but there are still a few stray tracks out there on singles and EPs (ahem, “Some Candy Talking” 2x7”) that have yet to be collected elsewhere. So, as a heroic public service, I’ve compiled a likely-flawed list of those stragglers:

* “Upside Down (demo)” (“Upside Down” 12” test pressing)
* “Psychocandy (acoustic)” (“Some Candy Talking” 2x7”)
* “Some Candy Talking (acoustic)” (“Some Candy Talking" 2x7”)
* “April Skies (extended version)” (“April Skies” 12”)
* “Happy When it Rains (extended version)” (“Happy When it Rains” 12”/10”)
* “Taste of Cindy (live in Detroit)” (“Sidewalking” 12”/CDEP)
* “April Skies (live in Detroit)” (“Sidewalking” 12”)
* “Sidewalking (Chilled to the Bone)” (“Sidewalking” CDEP)
* “Reverence (Jim and William Reid Mix)” (“Reverence” CDEP/12” promo)
* “Reverence (Al Jourgensen Mix)” (“Reverence” CDEP/12” promo)
* “Reverence (Mark Stent Mix)” (“Reverence” CDEP/12” promo)
* “Reverence (Mark Stent Extended Mix)” (“Reverence” 12” promo)
* “Far Gone and Out (Arc Weld Mix)” (“Far Gone and Out” CDEP/12” promo)
* “Far Gone and Out (Dance Mix)” (“Far Gone and Out” 12” promo)
* “Far Gone and Out (Instrumental Dance Mix)” (“Far Gone and Out” 12” promo)
* “Far Gone and Out (Just for Fun Mix)” (“Far Gone and Out” 12” promo)
* “Teenage Lust (Pimpin’ Ain’t Eazy Mix)” (“Rollercoaster U.S.” CD promo)
* “A New Kind of Kick (live)” (“Come On” CDEP #2)
* “I Hate Rock ’n’ Roll (Fascist Record Company Edit)” (“I Hate Rock ’n’ Roll” CDEP promo)
* “I Hate Rock ’n’ Roll (edit)” (“I Hate Rock ’n’ Roll” CDEP promo)
* “I Hate Rock ’n’ Roll (clean album version)” (“I Hate Rock ’n’ Roll” CDEP promo)
* “Cracking Up (live)” (“’98 Tour EP”)
* “Moe Tucker (live)” (“’98 Tour EP”)
* “I Love Rock ’n’ Roll (live)” (“’98 Tour EP”)

Nothing earth-shattering here, given that these are all alternate mixes and live recordings, but can you really make it through your day – CAN YOU FACE YOUR SPOUSE AND KIDS – knowing that you don’t own, for example, the “Just for Fun” remix of “Far Gone and Out”? And that’s precisely why I – though a childless bachelor – spent many sweaty years hunting these releases down, until at last, one by one, I clutched each elusive disc to my bosom.

Thus: things are much better now. I am so calm.