Sunday, September 20, 2009

Kid Champion - Conscious

(Mint, 1994)

Now here’s an interesting fact for all you fact-loving fact-lovers out there: Know what manner of sexy “schwag” the CIA is handing out at college recruiting events in the year 2009? Psst: I do. Because I obtained it while up in Boston on my business trip last week. And, as you might imagine, the world’s premier intelligence agency is indeed distributing a giveaway well worthy of its high-tech reputation and mindblowing mega-budget. Which can mean only one thing.

A wallet-sized gratuity table.

Yes, friends, the CIA is giving out wallet-sized gratuity tables to the top college students of America, ensuring that they never need to pause for an embarrassing amount of time while trying to calculate 15% or – God forbid! – 20% of their next meal check. An outstanding and thoughtful offering from our beloved spooks. Personally, as one who appreciates the fine work done by the waiters and waitresses of this world, regardless of nationality, I’ll be sure to keep this durable (plastic!) item handy the next time I’m gaming elections in Central America or slipping out for a drink or two near Guantanomo Base. Your tax dollars at work!

Over to you now, Canada.

Hi, Canada here. We’ve got a band called Kid Champion, or at least DID HAVE, back in the mid-’90s, and they, on their one and only release, proved themselves to be a real crock o’ shit. Ha! JUST KIDDING (we love jokes up in Canada)… these folks were in fact kinda OK, more like a “thimble o’ shit” than a full-on “crock” of the stuff. Yeah? I’m saying: Imagine the ultimate Slumberland Records also-ran – complete with ethereal girl-sing and gauzy lo-fi shoegaze aesthetic – and you have yourself a mighty accurate ear-picture of what we’re dealing with on this one. Happens to be a micro-genre I like, though, so I’ll be snide but I won’t be dismissive. Worth a buck? You betcha.

No comments: